Hey

Why do people take such offence to receiving this as a first message when online dating? Possibly because it:

• Feels impersonal

• Puts the conversation burden on the receiver

• Seems lazy and that you aren’t really interested

99% of the time, I start the chat after a match. Here are some of my tips for alternative conversation starters:

• Use something from their bio or pics to kick things off: ‘I’ve been to New York City too, where was your favourite spot?’

• Try a random question that’ll start a debate: ‘Ketchup or brown sauce?’

• You might cringe, but a cheesy pick up line gets me every time. One of my favourites to use: ‘Was that super like an accident, or are you just happy to see me?’

Other general tips to keep things flowing:

• Be respectful with your chat…whether you are looking for a ONS or something serious, there’s no need to be rude

• Ask open ended questions (not just ones they can answer with a yes/no)

• Answer their questions, but always send one back…it’s like tennis, you’ve got to keep the ball in play or it’s game over!

Effort is the biggest indicator of interest…try changing things up and see if it makes a difference!