Chatting to a cougar for the first time can be daunting and I’ve had my fair share of cubs say all the wrong things. What seems like a compliment can come across as insensitive or disrespectful…you might put a cougar off before you’ve even got off the dating app! These are some of the common things cubs say that should be avoided…
Be careful not to make it all about what you want…it’s selfish and shows you don’t care about her needs. Don’t tell a cougar…
- You’re my fantasy: She isn’t here to make all your dreams come true. It’s a two way street and this isn’t the compliment you think it is
- I’ve been searching for a cougar for ages: This will make her feel like you just want ANY cougar, not her specifically…which won’t make her feel special
- There’s so much you could teach me!: Maybe, but that’s not her job, so don’t expect it. She’s dating, not running a sex ed class
You are both aware of the age gap, that’s part of the appeal, but avoid distasteful references to her age. Don’t tell a cougar…
- You look great for your age!: Just tell her she’s hot. Period.
- You’re the same age as my parents: This is a hard no…do you really want her thinking about your family as you chat her up?!
- I was X years old when you did that: She knows, trust me. Focus on the now, not that you were a zygote when she was starting university!
Cougars aren’t your real life porn fantasy. Don’t tell a cougar…
- You make me so horny: If you say this before getting to know her, it’s obvious the IDEA of a cougar turns you on, not her as an individual
- It’s on my bucket list to sleep with a cougar!: This fetishises her and will make her feel like an object to be used for your sexual gratification
- I love MILF/cougar porn: Congratulations…but don’t expect her to play out your favourite stepmom scenario. Cougars are normal women, not porn actresses
Making assumptions about a cougar’s dating/sex life isn’t wise. Don’t tell a cougar:
- Let’s have a threesome with one of your cougar friends: Who say’s she’s into threesomes…or has another cougar friend?! Maybe concentrate on the one cougar you are talking to, rather than get greedy looking for more
- You must be having great sex with cubs all the time!: I think I proved with the ‘Swipe Experiment’ that cougars don’t have the glamorous dating life you might think. Also, don’t assume she’s just wanting casual fun…plenty of cougars want a meaningful relationship too
- I bet you’re kinky/good in bed: As I covered in ‘Cougar Myths’ everyone is different and just because a woman is older, doesn’t mean she will automatically be into rough sex or want anything kinky. Focus on getting to know her and see how things progress without having expectations
When chatting to an older woman, be honest, be yourself and don’t try too hard to impress. Cougars prefer genuine conversation over cheesy pick up lines and want to know you are interested in their personality, not just their age. Ditch all the cliches, don’t make assumptions, forget she’s older and respectfully talk to her how you would any potential date.
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