Ever seen ‘shoot your shot’ on someone’s online dating profile? While it might seem inoffensive enough, this line is one of my top turn offs…it’s an immediate left swipe for me. Inviting someone to ‘shoot their shot’ with you comes across as entitled…especially if you haven’t bothered writing anything about yourself. Other versions of this look like ‘just ask’ or ‘message first’…all pet peeves of mine (alongside the ubiquitous ‘good vibes only‘ or starting the chat with ‘hey‘.)
Having any of these on your dating profile could give the wrong impression to potential matches. It might come across that you:
- Are lazy and unwilling to put in any effort
- Expect a match to prove they are worthy of your attention
- Are controlling and seek power over the other person
- Have insecurities you are compensating for with bravado
Saying ‘shoot your shot’ sets the tone from the start that one person has more power than the other. It can foster an unhealthy dynamic of one person always feeling like they need to prove themselves while they other contributes very little effort. Hardly a good foundation for trust, fun and safe play.
Instead of ‘shoot your shot’ and other variations, ‘green flag’ profiles have:
- A great bio: Someone who has the energy to date will usually put effort into actually writing about themselves (I don’t swipe right on empty bios)
- A suggestion: ‘Let’s grab a drink and see if we vibe’ or ‘Swipe right and let’s get to know each other’ which implies equal standing from the start
- A prompt: If someone is keen to engage you in conversation, they’ll often have a question in their bio to get the ball rolling and make it easy for you
Whether you’re on the apps for something casual or with a view to a relationship, dating is always a two way street. Both parties should be making an effort to get to know the other…it’s not about one person having to ‘shoot their shot’ and earn the other one’s time and attention. If you do find someone isn’t putting the time and effort into the chat after swiping right, in the words of Lalalaletmeexplain…Block, Delete, Move On. We all deserve someone who is willing to reciprocate our energy and enthusiasm when it comes to online dating.
Madam Mayhem 