Delayed Gratification

In a world where social media reigns supreme and everyone is hooked on the promise of their next dopamine hit, the thrill of delayed gratification has been forgotten. Remember when you were young and you longed for that first kiss? Riding the high of uncertainty, wondering if they liked you too? Will they reach for my hand…is it finally happening…?!

I am all about the tease and letting the tension build…there’s something so tantalising about the anticipation of a moment (which anyone who enjoys Bridgerton will attest to). In a society that now values the instant likes, comments and attention we get online, I revel in the opposite…the drawn out game with someone in person.

Whether it’s with a new date or a longer term partner, the tease is all kinds of fun. So much of the deliciousness is lost in a quick hook up…for me, pleasure comes in the form of flirtation, which looks like:

  • Eye contact: A dropped gaze, a suggestive look, lingering glances
  • Body language: A touch of the arm, leaning in with interest, a knowing smirk, the bite of a lip
  • Words: Subtle innuendo, a cheeky joke, a playful lilt in their voice

There’s nothing sexier than feeling a burning desire but fighting the urge to tear each other’s clothes off. Restraint is an exquisite type of torture which leaves you craving more and can extend to sexual exploration too. Ways to indulge in the tease during masturbation or partner play are:

  • Long sessions: Set aside uninterrupted time, take the pressure off, go slow and enjoy the journey (foreplay is your friend here!)
  • Edging, chastity and orgasm control: Use a cock cage, timers and rules during sessions or over extended periods of time to create a frenzied state
  • Rules: Set playful parameters like ‘no using your mouth’ or ‘no touching’ for set periods of time. Mutual masturbation is great for the tease…playing in front of a partner without touching each other
  • Sensation play/deprivation: Removing one or more senses can enhance the others (like using a blindfold or headphones). Play with temperature, breath, touch, sound and visuals to heighten the suspense

‘Swipe, match, fuck’ isn’t my thing…and I’ve never once regretted taking it slow with someone. I am naturally flirtatious and will always love the long, drawn out tease. If you haven’t tried it, delayed gratification is a great way to bring excitement and variety to dating, relationships and sex…so why not give it a go?

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