Dealing With Rejection

Rejection is one of the unpleasant but inevitable byproducts of dating. It’s usually our biggest fear as we put ourselves out there in the hopes of meeting someone. Since it can’t be avoided, dealing with rejection is a muscle to train like any other. 

The more you get comfortable with rejection, the less likely it is to feel personal. There are almost 8 billion people in the world…the reality is, you just can’t be everyone’s type! If someone respects you enough to tell you they don’t want to see you again, take it graciously…even if their delivery isn’t terribly sensitive:

• Resist the urge to ask ‘Why?’ unless you are genuinely open to feedback 
• Thank them for their honesty and wish them well with dating
• Accept it and move on. Continuing to try and engage with someone or push for another date is a consent breach and disregard for someone’s boundaries

At its core, rejection just means someone wasn’t right for you, whatever the reason. Them leaving your life is a good thing…it allows space for the someone else to come along who’ll reciprocate the energy you give. Dating is a numbers game and you can’t vibe with everyone. If you really can’t handle the thought of rejection, or you are still getting over someone, it might be best to hold off on getting in the game.

If you’re out there dating, it’s likely you may have to let someone down along the way too. You can tell someone you don’t want to see them again without being cruel or making it personal. Especially if they’ve done nothing wrong and you’re just not feeling it. Be clear, concise and kind in your delivery:

• I don’t think we’re the right fit, but it was nice to meet you
• I’m not feeling a vibe between us, but thanks for the date
• I don’t feel a spark, but I appreciate you taking the time to meet up

Round off by wishing them luck with dating and leave it there. Don’t suggest a friendship or staying in touch unless that’s something you truly want (without the prospect of something more). When done respectfully, rejection is a kindness. You’re giving closure and not leaving the other person wondering what happened. Ghosting is cowardly and more likely to hurt the person than if you’re just honest.

Rejection does get easier with time and practice. Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end, push through the discomfort and deal with the negative feelings that surface. You’ll take things less personally over time and people will appreciate your integrity.