Sliding Into Someone’s DMs

Even with so many dating apps available these days, social media is a common way to meet people. Some love it, some hate it…but one thing is for sure, there’s a right way to go about it if you want to slide into someone’s DMs.

Before you even send the first message, bear in mind you are (likely) a complete stranger so you are crossing a boundary without permission. So it needs to be done respectfully, and with no expectation of a reply. The person on the receiving end doesn’t owe you their time or attention, just because YOU are interested in THEM

If you are cold messaging someone, they may not respond at all because they:

  • Feel uneasy about the approach from a stranger
  • Aren’t interested or are in a relationship
  • Date in others ways that better suit them

If someone does reply to your DM, it might just be out of politeness. It’s not an immediate guarantee of a date or sex. Just like on the dating apps, you have to ease into the conversation and see if there’s a mutual interest. Even if someone starts chatting to you, there’s still no obligation for them to meet you.

If you do want to slide into someone’s DMs, give yourself the best chance and make sure you:

  • Have your profile on public with recent, clear photos of yourself 
  • Establish your age and location when you send the first message (cover off the info someone would see on your dating profile)
  • Say more than ‘hey’…state your intention and ask a question to start the conversation. You’ve reached out to this person, so the onus is on you to make it easy for them to reply!
  • Don’t send unsolicited sexual messages or pics. Ever.

If you don’t receive a response or someone states they aren’t interested, then leave it. Don’t continue to message or try and convince them to meet you. No means no, so move on. Rejection is a natural part of dating at the best of times, so try not to take it personally. If you keep pushing the point you might find yourself reported for harassment and blocked.

If you go about things respectfully, you’ve got nothing to lose by sliding into someone’s DMs. There’s a fine line between flirty and creepy though, so proceed with caution. Remember to be mindful of boundaries and the fact that no one owes you their attention just because you want it. But go for it and see what happens!

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