The original meaning of the term ‘simping’ is to crush on someone at a distance. An infatuation from afar which has you doing things wildly out of character for the object of your affection. It’s usually applied in the context of men’s behaviour towards women.

The term however has now devolved and is mostly used in a negative way to shame people (predominantly cis het men against other cis het men). It’s used to mock someone for behaving with basic human decency towards partners when dating or in a relationship. 

Insecure people accuse others of simping because they are projecting their own fears. They don’t have the emotional capacity to date with that kind of vulnerability and are scared of rejection. So instead they ridicule others for showing these emotionally open qualities they don’t possess.

Showing kindness to someone you care about is not simping. Treating people with respect is not simping. Expressing your feelings openly is not simping. Being honest and clear with your intentions is not simping. Dating with empathy is not simping.

Help eradicate the use of ‘simping’:

  • Stand up to anyone who accuses you of it
  • Call out friends if they use the term to bully someone
  • Encourage others date respectfully

If anyone tells you that you are simping over someone, the problem is with them, not you. Being vulnerable, respectful and honest when dating or in a relationship is sexy as hell. You’ll get far more from experiences with honesty and integrity than if you play hard to get or try to ‘treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen’.

Don’t be afraid to show someone you care when dating or in a relationship. Playing games is childish and a quick way to lose someone. It takes emotional maturity and a secure person to be open and vulnerable. The qualities people show when supposedly simping are actually desirable and healthy! 

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