We’ve all encountered time wasters on the dating apps…people who string you along, chat sporadically and then three weeks later you realise they ghost you…they had no intention of meeting you. It wears you down if you are someone genuinely wanting to meet people and date.
Time wasters are on the apps for lots of reasons, but one I strike often is that people just don’t have the time to date. They may want to, and have the right intentions, but realistically they don’t actually have the time or energy to dedicate to dating. Others see the apps as a cheat…a quick and easy way to get what they want with minimum effort…
‘I work 7 days a week so just want someone to have dinner waiting for me’
‘My career/sporting endeavour/dog are my first priority right now’
‘I don’t have time to meet someone in real life, so thought I’d try the apps’
I think the main thing lacking from dating is empathy…I try to date with kindness, respect and integrity and I wish others did too. I give my time and energy freely to like-minded people who are willing to reciprocate my effort. Dating, human connection and meeting new people are a priority in my life.
If you are on dating apps because it seems like the easy way to get what you want (whether that’s a hook up or a relationship), you aren’t dating with empathy. Take a step back and look at the commitments on your life. Between study, career, sport, friends and family/children, do you genuinely have the time and energy to give to dating too?
If you really want to date, you have to:
- Make space in your diary for regular dates
- Prioritise time for dating over other things
- Be engaged and make time to communicate with matches
Before having an idle swipe on the apps when you are bored or have the hangover horn, pause and really think about what you are doing. Unless you can give the respect and energy to a match (even for something casual), do everyone a favour and go have a wank instead.
You’re dealing with other human beings on the apps, not objects put there purely to service your needs around all the other commitments in your life. Until you have the ability to make dating a priority and not an afterthought, stop wasting everyone’s time and get off the apps.