It’s the latest hetero buzz narrative on social media…cishet women supposedly wanting a 6’5, blue eyed finance man with a trust fund. I’m sure you’ve seen it. Society is always telling women their dating standards are too high and to lower their expectations for a male partner, but should we?
For starters, I’ve literally never heard any woman state height, income or eye colour as prerequisites in a male partner. Ever. I don’t doubt those women exist, but I’d bet the majority of women focus on far less superficial qualities when dating. I promise you, the male loneliness epidemic isn’t the result of women refusing to date men under 6’.
It seems to me that the standards women have when dating pretty much add up to being treated like a human being (heaven forbid we might not want to be fetishised and objectified). That’s certainly the case for me…the bar for men’s behaviour is set so low at this point that apparently wanting respect, consistency, clear communication, effort and empathy is asking for too much.
My standards are not about a man being wealthy or over 6’…I could go on dates with those kind of guys any day of the week. Unless he takes an interest in me as an individual, can hold a respectful exchange and puts as much effort into arranging a date as me, I’m not interested. A job in finance is not a free pass to be a jerk (apologies to the finance bros, I’m sure some of you are lovely).
How about we stop asking women to lower our (very reasonable) standards and encourage men to behave better? Just look at my Hall of Shame highlights on Instagram or my swipe experiments (both of them) if you want a tiny glimpse of what women deal with daily when dating…it’s abhorrent. Women deserve better and are right to uphold standards when dating. If anything I think we could raise them higher.
Statistics show that married men and unmarried women without children are the happiest demographics within their genders. That’s no coincidence. I’d rather be single than date men who don’t even bring the bare minimum to my life when I’m extremely happy and successful on my own.
Women don’t need to lower their standards, men need to lift their game.
Madam Mayhem 