Friendship From Dating

While my dating life has arguably been a train wreck over the last few years (I really should write a book about my bad dates), I’ve made a ton of great friends. The silver lining, I guess? While not every missed romantic connection can turn into a friendship, sometimes the chemistry works for the longer term plutonic relationship.

To form successful friendships from dating you first have to be comfortable with:

• Romantic/sexual rejection
• Ditching the notion of the ‘friend zone’
• Valuing friendship as a dating outcome

Ever had it where someone seems perfect on paper…similar interests, there’s attraction, the chat is great, but that intangible ‘something’ just isn’t there? Or you find someone amazing but distance and lifestyles don’t facilitate you ever meeting? You might have friend chemistry…you may not have to throw it all away if you really like them.

Only consider friendship if you:

• Genuinely want this person in your life
• Aren’t secretly hoping to shag them at some point
• Have time and energy to give them (same goes for dating in general!)

Friendship with an ex can be tougher territory to navigate. It could be hurtful for one or both of you and negate your ability to heal and move on. If you do want to try it, be mindful of not to slip back into more, or continue to give someone relationship privileges (like too much emotional support…I’ve been there).

Before friendship with an ex, consider if you:

• Need a cooling off period after the breakup
• Can be friends while they date others
• Are just clinging to the hope of reuniting

Whether you are attempting a friendship from or after dating, set some boundaries. These could be around frequency of contact, whether you’ll talk about new partners and if you’ll meet in person or just keep things online. Communicate your limits clearly at the outset so to minimise hurt.

At the end of the day, a date doesn’t have to result in either a romantic or plutonic connection…we’ve all had dates with people we literally never want to see again (refer to my earlier point about being able to write a book about my bad dates…). But if you do meet someone fantastic and really want them in your life as a friend, why not try it?