Yes, we all hate dating apps and complain about how grim dating is…me included. Sometimes it’s valid to moan…but often it’s not. I’m in the thick of another swipe experiment (I know, the evidence that I’m a masochist continues to mount after versions one and two) so I spend a bit of time looking at dating profiles. What I’ve discovered is that most people are just lazy daters.
You can’t bemoan the state of the dating apps if you are a lazy dater. You’re part of the problem if you:
- Don’t put effort into your dating profile
- Have no idea what you want from dating
- Can’t prioritise giving time to dating
I’ve written about this before but given what I’ve seen on the apps recently, I feel the need to reiterate…you get out of dating what you put in. If you have an empty profile and start every conversation with ‘hey’, you won’t attract anyone, or worse, you’ll attract the wrong people. In every other aspect of our lives, we put in effort and time to see progress, whether it be the gym, work or hobbies…why not with dating?
So how can you make your dating app experience better?
If you want better matches and dating experiences you need to:
- Write a bio and fill in prompts
- Have clear photos of yourself in different scenarios (not all just drinking)
- GET VERIFIED (there are too many fakes not to do this now)
- Be clear with what you want (relationship/fwb/monogamy/ENM)
The best tip I can give you is to only swipe right on people matching your effort. You can’t swipe right on a hundred blank Tinder profiles and expect the love of your life to be in the mix. Only swipe right on other people who put time into their profiles and have aligned dating goals.
It may seem counterintuitive but your dating app experience will be much better if you focus on quality over quantity. The apps are gamified and designed to keep you on there, paying for perceived advantages (which won’t actually help you). The way to beat the system is to be more selective and raise the standard of your own profile and what you look for in other profiles.
This isn’t rocket science, yet people seem to be putting less and less effort into the dating apps. I get it, we all have app fatigue and the landscape looks dire. The good news is that this gives you an opportunity to stand out from the crowd if you actually put the effort in.
Why not try it and see?
Madam Mayhem 