After two years on the dating apps and encountering the same problems with matches (remember my swipe experiment?!), I have some controversial ideas to make online dating a much better experience for everyone. My controversial dating apps ideas are:
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Therapy should be a mandatory prerequisite for signing up.
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You must provide evidence that you are in fact single, or in a consensual non-monogamous relationship. No cheaters allowed!
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There is a set cooling off period after your last relationship to allow you to get over someone before being permitted to sign up.
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Access to the apps requires you attend and pass an educational course on consent.
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Show examples of understanding the basics of conversation, flirting and how to read body language.
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A minimum word count requirement for the bio section of a profile.
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Users are immediately removed if any of the following are detected in their profile:
- Good vibes only/don’t take yourself too seriously
- Just ask
- Don’t know what to put here
- Let’s just grab a drink
- No psychos/drama
- Looking for a partner in crime/+1 for a wedding
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Inactive profiles are automatically deleted after a month without use. Same goes for people who don’t reply to messages within a set period of time.
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Ghosting or sending unsolicited dick pics are offences that will result in a lifetime ban.
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What would you add?
Madam Mayhem 