Good Vibes Only

Dating app profiles often contain glaring red flags, but some are hard to spot and go undetected as just another dating profile cliche. There are a few key phrases which at surface level seem pretty innocent or even justified, but can put people off swiping right because of the perceived deeper meaning behind them.

These are the kind of statements I’m talking about that might trigger an immediate left swipe:

• Good vibes only
• Not looking for drama
• Don’t take yourself too seriously 
• No psychos

When I see things like this in someone’s bio, it says to me that they might:

• Have unrealistic expectations: People are human…we can’t expect them to be happy 100% of the time. Advertising ‘good vibes only’ immediately sets an unattainable standard of behaviour for potential matches
• Avoid conflict: At the first sign of things not going their way, this person might bail (yes, all those people who ghost!). Dating and relationships are rarely smooth sailing, being able to navigate the tough times is important
• Be emotionally unavailable: It signposts that someone might lack empathy, will likely not be kind and won’t deal with anything remotely inconvenient, like feelings 
• Have unresolved past trauma: Putting these things in a bio can show someone has been hurt before and hasn’t processed those feelings or moved on. That lingering hurt might then influence how they treat others when dating

Stating ‘no drama’ on your profile isn’t going to stop any potential dating disasters anyway, so why waste your word count on that? If you have any of these things stated in your bio, maybe it’s time to step back and ask yourself:

• Do I have the emotional energy to date with empathy, compassion and kindness? (Even for casual encounters!)
• Why am I afraid of having to deal with negative emotions/conflict?
• I’m not perfect, so why do I expect someone I’m dating to be?

Regardless of whether you are looking for a hookup or a relationship, we are dealing with other human beings when we date. People who aren’t perfect, have bad days and make mistakes. People who deserve respect, compassion and understanding even if they won’t be happy, fun and drama free every minute of every day.