If you’re a Dom/Domme/Dommx, you may suffer ‘Dom drop’ after BDSM play. Ensuring a submissive is safe and pleasured during scenes can be intense for a Dominant. From wax play, to choking, restraints, paddles or gags…so much can go wrong, so it can be a high stress time.
Dom drop is the comedown after the intensity of a scene. It might look like:
- An energy/emotional crash
- A stressed/anxious state
- Physical pain (headache etc)
Not everyone has Dom drop and it may not happen every time, but aftercare is necessary anyway. When a scene ends, it’s the responsibility of all participants to look after each other, regardless of the dynamic during play. Dominants need aftercare too, not just submissives.
As a Domme, I like to cuddle and chat about a scene afterwards. What worked/didn’t? What will we do again/differently next time? I like reassurance that my sub has enjoyed things and felt safe. If not, I want to know how I can improve. Then it’s onto cleanup and snacks to round out the aftercare routine.
Negotiate an aftercare plan that suits everyone before a session…preparation is key to negating the impact of Dom drop. Have what you need on hand…snacks, clean towels, a fave TV show etc. If you are a Dominant, make sure you speak up for your needs before focus is on your sub during a scene.
The lack of aftercare I’ve received in the past has been a factor in deciding not to see a submissive again. As a sub you may be relinquishing control in a session, but that doesn’t absolve you of giving aftercare to your Dominant. Equally, Doms have a responsibility to voice their needs or it can damage the dynamic too.
Support your Dominant after a scene by:
- Asking what they need
- Giving feedback and reassurance
- Engaging in aftercare that suits you both
Neglecting aftercare for Dominants might have a detrimental impact on a dynamic or leave parties less inclined to want to play again. It’s not just about minimising Dom drop, ultimately it’s about caring and connecting with your play partners…that way, more fun can be had in future.
Madam Mayhem 