D/s Honorifics

When establishing a BDSM dynamic, it’s common to have honorifics for Dominants and submissives. They typically signify the type of D/s dynamic and each person’s role within it. D-type honorifics tend to elevate and command respect, while s-type names are more likely to be demeaning, show a lower rank or denote ownership.

Using honorifics can:

• Reinforce D/s roles
• Signal the beginning and end of a scene
• Enhance play

There are an array of honorifics to suit all kinds of Dominants and submissives, depending on what you enjoy individually and during partner play. They can be decided early on or sometimes evolve naturally over time. Dominants will often name their submissives, but any titles should be negotiated and consented to by all involved.

When negotiating honorifics, consider which ones:

• Suit this particular dynamic
• Are off limits
• Turn you on/add to the pleasure

If you have a new playmate and you haven’t discussed honorifics yet, avoid using any during a scene. Equally, if you have names you don’t want to be used, share that with playmates early on. D/s connections can be deeply personal and inadvertently calling someone an honorific from a previous dynamic might be upsetting. 

Kinksters will often present themselves online with a chosen honorific. This isn’t an open invitation to slide into someone’s DMs using a title without explicit consent. They may be a Dominant, but they aren’t your Dominant. Use their name when addressing them or if you aren’t sure, ask what they want to be called.

A Mistress will be different to a Mummy or a Goddess…each honorific sets a different tone. It may take a while to settle on titles that feel right for you. Many D/s honourifics are gendered, however there are plenty of options that go beyond the gender binary. Get creative…you can use titles like Your Highness, Boss, piggy or soldier…the safe word is the limit! 

Not all D/s dynamics require honorifics, and that’s completely ok too. You can personalise kink to what works for you and your partners. No one will stop you from calling your Dominant ‘Voldemort’ or your submissive ‘iguana’…or not using titles at all. 

What D/s honorifics have you used?