One Domme Doesn’t Fit All

I’m a switch and enjoy being dominant and submissive equally, but as a cougar I’m naturally more of a domme. Cubs feel comfortable handing control over to me and quite often approach me wanting their first submissive experience.

Unfortunately, mainstream porn would have us believe that all dommes are sadistic, whip wielding dominatrix types…so not true. As with everything in the kink world, there’s a spectrum and there are all sorts of domme/sub dynamics, including:

• Mistress/slave

• Owner/pet (can be 24/7)

• Sadist/masochist

• Mummy domme/little boy (MDlb)

• Findom/Finsub (monetary based)

These roles can involve anything from age play to humiliation and everything in between. I’m more of a sensual domme and I enjoy giving pleasure. I’d rather tie you down and tease you for hours than have you in a ball gag, walking over you in heels. Before seeking out a submissive experience, it’s worth thinking about the things that turn you on and what kind of domme might best suit you.

Whatever experience you want to try, every good domme/sub relationship should have:

• Trust: If you are submitting to someone you have to trust they won’t abuse that power. This can take time to build and things should progress at a pace that both people are comfortable with.

• Communication: Discuss and decide boundaries and deal breakers in advance. It’s important to check in regularly during play and have a safe word or gesture in case either person wants to stop at anytime.

• Mutual pleasure: This isn’t just about serving a domme and doing everything they say. Whatever the dynamic or act being carried out, it should be hot for both people. If licking a domme’s boots turns you on, great! If not, don’t do it.

Like anything in the world of kink, it’s not a one domme fits all scenario. If you are a cub wanting to have a submissive experience with a domme, it could take a bit of time and patience to find the right dynamic that works for you. But absolutely get out there and embrace your inner slave/sissy slut/baby boy…there’s a domme out there somewhere who’ll be into the same thing!