I’ve been asked to be a sugar momma at least once a week since I started dating again two years ago. Usually this request comes without so much as a ‘hello’…it’s just some guy in his twenties sliding into my DMs thinking I’ll be happy to pay for his (no doubt charming) company. The idea that all cougars are sugar mommas is just another cougar myth that needs to be dispelled.
Seasoned cougar hunters know that it’s rare enough to find a cougar who wants to date you, let alone one who will pay your way too. Older women know their worth and cubs aren’t doing them any favours by dating them. Cubs are replaceable…especially ones who try treating cougars like a cash machine. Asking an older woman to be your sugar momma is one of the many things you shouldn’t say to a cougar.
Assuming a cougar will be your sugar momma is unattractive. It comes across that you:
- Are entitled, selfish and lazy
- Lack ambition and integrity
- Think you have more value than her
Matching a cougar on the apps and anticipating she will pay for everything is disrespectful. If she is successful, she will have worked hard to get there and probably still earns less than her male counterparts. You aren’t doing your part for feminism or gender equality by demanding an older woman be your sugar momma.
You also can’t assume what a cougar’s financial situation is. Just because she’s older, doesn’t mean she will have spare cash to lavish on cubs. Cougars often have more financial responsibilities like mortgages and children. Even if they don’t, they are likely to be more savvy with their money and spending it on cubs will be a low priority.
Don’t forget, cougars are bringing a wealth of other things to the table that cubs profit from:
- Life experience
- Sexual and self confidence
- Honest and open dating approach
So it’s worth thinking about what you can offer up as a cub, rather than just what you can get from a cougar. Given there are very few cougars out there and plenty of eager cubs, you need to capture and keep her attention, starting with your online dating profile, or approaching her in person. Standing there with your hand out for a sugar momma won’t get you very far.
Don’t assume a cougar is a sugar momma unless you match with her on a sugar momma app or she openly advertises herself as one. Good cubs understand that a cougar’s money is the least exciting thing they have to offer and will have much better experiences than those just looking for a free ride.
Madam Mayhem 